When I decided I wanted to open our relationship for real. I mean have my wife actually fuck another guy for the first time since we were married it was a very stressful time in both her and my life.
We were maintaining an almost impossible schedule. She worked extremely early mornings while I stayed with our newborn daughter – then she would come home in time for me to leave for work. After I got home, she would try to get in an hour or two of work on her dissertation so she could hopefully finish up her PhD at some point. It was working – but it was grueling. It had left my wife tired, stressed, and not feeling like her usual sexy self.
I felt that with all the stress and her giving birth she just did not feel sexy, didn’t feel desired. Of course I told her how hot she was 24/7! The fact is it is expected for a husband to say that. Another guy desiring her, telling her she is sexy, fucking her is much different!
I sent her to a lifestyle resort, setting no expectations but to have fun, spend time on her dissertation and if she chose, to do anything sexual she desired.
She returned from the trip after 2 days and nights of sexual play with others just glowing! Happy as when we first got married and before having our child. You could tell she felt sexy again, alive and desired. I reaped all the benefits of a happy wife inside and outside of the bedroom and we have continued to add kindling to our fire with sexual adventures that include her having sexual relationships with other men.
If you read my last few post including Waiting you know it is not always easy on me. My angst recently started a great conversation with my wife though that included how happy she is in herself but also having me her perfect husband who lets her enjoy being the sexual person she is. When she can’t express her sexuality because of me or outside barriers she doesn’t feel like herself, doesn’t feel as happy and can feel depressed.
Now I have written about shame but I have never felt depression. Men do feel depression but it is more common with women, it can also happen during certain times of a women’s cycle. What ever it is my wife has felt depressed and I never want her to feel that way.
So this morning she hinted to me that she was reading an article about how sex helps with depression. More so how semen helps fight depression.
I had to read into this! I found a lot of great news from science on the sex front! I LOVE SEX! I LOVE SCIENCE!
A study showed that semen provides mood-boosting hormones and chemical compounds for women.
They found that those who used condoms (and were therefore less exposed to semen) were more likely to be depressed than those who did not use condoms. On the other hand, among women who did not use condoms, the longer they went without having sex (or being exposed to semen), the more likely they were to be depressed.
Now don’t go crazy commenting to me about safe sex. First this was not my study. Of course unprotected sex has risks of its own including STD’s and Pregnancy.
That said let my wife get two or more doses of that semen. She will get top offed from me! LOL I love sloppy seconds or more. I’m just that kind of guy, remember, no more shame!
Another doctor wrote The benefits of sex are optimal if you are intimate with someone you really care about and connect at an emotional level. This makes since to me. I think there is something to having a partner that cares for you and is always there for you. It is very healthy and comforting. If you have a partner like me you get that as well as increased benefits of a more enhanced sexual fulfilling relationship of having sex with other men.
My wife says for her having sex with other men is ideal especially when there is only pleasure.
Only encouragement and adoration from me – and insanely hot sex on the side.
She also says she chose to be a hotwife for many reasons – to feel empowered, to feel desired, to connect with me in a deeper way, to meet her need for variety in sexual partners, and most of all for
that earth shattering feeling of almost uncomfortably big cock pushing inside of her.
Now you know my story and my wife’s lets dig deeper into why sex is such a great antidepressant and these reason can be added to my last post of why a highly sexual wife, who fucks other men is such a turn on!
Sex is 1 of 4 fundamental needs. It has to be fed for a healthy whole body and mind. The more you fead it the better.
We know sex makes us feel great and depression does not. This is because sex releases feel good emotions and actual hormones. These include
- Dopamine: Which helps focus attention and generally increases motivation, it is called the Feel Good hormone.
- Endorphins: These fight the stresses of daily life and give you a temporary high.
- Oxytocin: Also referred to as the cuddle hormone, oxytocin increases the feelings of compassion and affection.
While these levels increase with sex the levels of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, also lowers with sex.
Also deficiencies in nitric oxide are associated with irritability, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and less energy. Having sex increases your body’s nitric oxide levels.
Next let’s talk about desire and arousal. This provokes activity in the “emotions” area of our brain.
This is also the area I struggle with as a cuckold husband. Sometimes I feel jealousy, or I’m letting our marriage get out of my control or fear she is developing emotions and might leave me.
I’m working on it, can’t be 100% perfect. Even when I know none of that is true for her.
The thing is this desire and arousal that starts with her meeting a new man is an important part of the beneficial process.
MRI studies have shown that the first thing to happen when we are aroused is that there is an increase in activity to the part of the brain that controls your emotions—this is called the limbic system.
During this initial arousal stage, a few physical things happen, as well: our blood pressure and blood flow increases, sensitive areas of our body (such as the genitals and breasts) become tender and our hearts beat faster. In general, arousal acts like an “on” switch for our bodies to prepare us for intercourse.
This happens through the flirting, the sexting, the building the connection phase. I am also not going to lie even though I sometimes have a hard time in this phase the arousal wins out with me feeling these benefits. As much as it can drive me nuts when she is texting with another male, I often feel disappointed when I don’t see this exchange because it is very arousing to me…. her as well.
On the Science side I found it interesting and true that WebMD lists these symptoms when you stop having sex:
- You might feel more anxious
- Your heart may not work as well
- You might get less exercise
- You may lose your keys more often: Regular sex is linked to improved memory!
- Your immune system may get weaker
- You might sleep less
- Aches and pains hang around: Orgasm causes your body to release endorphins and other hormones that can help ease head, back, and leg aches. They may help arthritis pain and menstrual cramps, too!
- Your blood pressure might rise
We don’t want any of that!!!!!
But man can’t you just fuck your wife, why swinging and cuckolding?
I’m a big proponent more is better :).
Also as I mentioned in the start of this post, marriages have their sexual ruts for a host of many different reasons.
For us going to a swinger party, resort or my wife meeting a new sexual male partner 100% always brings us out of these ruts and ignites our sexual desire for each-other and others. Also it keeps us from going into these ruts in the first place.
My wife having the freedom to be sexual allows her to be 100% her true self. That helps her not have anxiety or depression and I am fully in support and encourage her to be her true sexual self and reap all the scientific benefits listed.
Now I am not a doctor or a psychologist. In my own experience in my own relationship with my wife and hundreds of swingers that have strong loving marriages I have met over the years they seem happier and less depressed.
When I am at a lifestyle resort you see many women and men who are empowered. They are living in the moment in a stress free environment, there is so much love and also sex with others. There is a noticeable glow on peoples faces. They are living in the moment in our natural animalistic nature. Most including ourselves first don’t want to leave and second know when we do our relationships have been enhanced, feel empowered, our bodies and minds relaxed, cheerful. Certainly this is not for all couples – but as proven – sex should be for all couples. It is beautiful.
This is also the truth when my wife has sexual encounters with other men. She is a different women full of sexual energy. She glows to the world. I get the benefits of sexual arousal and a woman with a heightened sexual libido which means I get more hot sex.
Last she is insatiable so I don’t mind the help of other men and sometimes woman.
For us it works and I am happy it is also proven by science!