I love my wife because she introduced me to the joys of getting my toe nails done. I have pink toe nails right now and they make me happy every-time I look down at them. It makes me sad to think I can’t show them off the same way a female does although I’m sure I can do a clear gloss on those flip-flop days.
I’ve been thinking about happiness today. It has been all the small things that have made me happy lately. Pink toe nails, the feeling of slipping on a thong in the morning, the feeling of it teasing my ass all day. The fact that I get to have some time to pamper myself during the day, getting my body waxed or spending 20 minutes writing this blog, getting my daily exercise in. I get to be me and that makes me happy.
I wasn’t always happy. I can think back to two times in my life I struggled day to day. Never depressed just not where I wanted to be.
In my early 20’s I hit the workforce full-time, working 2 jobs a day to pay for rent and food. I had just come off of many years of partying and prioritizing my education where I lived off very little but all was fine. I found myself stuck in a routine that didn’t work for me. I would work all day, come home eat, watch TV and do it all over again. I wasn’t making time for myself. I needed a change.
The first change I made was prioritizing exercise, not worrying about being single and enjoying time by myself. Away from work, away from the TV and food. I went out to fancy restaurants by myself, joined a gym, even purchased a boat. Funny how life works, shortly after I met my wife and fell in love.
To me our life was perfect, great sex, adventure, time spent doing the hobbies we loved and a high priority on our health and exercise. We got married and as you know we are still deeply in love.
A wife or a husband or kids can’t make you happy by themselves. Enter my mid 30’s. I am more successful than I have ever been, making enough money to support both my wife and I, with a job in corporate management. Our first born kid then second born kid. Still a great sex life with the addition of cuckolding, still focusing on health and fitness but less time to myself except when stuck in traffic.
As I sat in the car day in and day out, I started to resent life. It wore on me. I started to hate my job. In my case I felt like I wasn’t doing anything good for the world except making money. I traded my happiness for a check so I could help support myself, the wife I love and my kids. I sat in traffic day in and day out, just the daily adult grind.
Year after year, as time fly’s by it wore on me more and more. I couldn’t talk about my day in a positive light and I remember sometimes sitting in my car just enjoying the silence, enjoying time by myself. Sometimes I didn’t even want to walk inside my house as I had nothing good to say. Negativity tends to build on itself until you change the tide.
Sexually I was also confused, I knew I loved my wife, I had a huge attraction to cuckolding but could not understand why.
I had to make a change. I could no longer sit in my car for 2+ hours a day, away from my wife, my kids, my hobbies, my exercise and my health. It wasn’t just the traffic for me. I also couldn’t do the work anymore I once loved. I couldn’t handle the daily pressure to deliver an end product without it helping someone other than the bottomline the CEO and upper management was taking home.
I made a drastic change in my life. I cut my commute to 5-8 minutes, opened my own business, freed up more time for myself as well as my kids, wife and home. It has been at a large cost financially. It was as if I traded places with my wife which was never the intention. Now she commutes 2+ hours a day, does not have time to prioritize herself, her health, her hobbies, to explore her sexuality. She is now sad and that makes me sad.
My pink toes. As adults we often just don’t have time to express ourselves. We prioritize work, making a living, education, taking care of our children. All which need to be prioritized. What I have learned in my own happiness is I needed to find a balance of those priorities with time each day to be me.