The Humiliation Of It

My wife never like cuckolding, she always felt it was degrading and humiliating. She does not approve of the image I chose for this post. She loves fucking other men, having a bull, going on dates and getting to enjoy big cock and multiple men at a time if there is opportunity.

I admit she was right.

She never wanted me to feel inadequate, to feel humiliation, after all I am the love of her life. She was always more turned on by the Hotwife – She is damn hot! Stag and Vixen type pornography. I have a healthy relationship with pornography but I have to admit getting caught up in negative cuckolding captions was not healthy.

Something has changed, it had not really clicked and has caused me to reevaluate myself. She was fucking her bull, while I orally pleasured them both, they were whispering about me, they were including erotic humiliation calling me cucky. It was in fun, they were not trying to hurt me, I knew that then and know that now. I had to step away and collect my thoughts. I was having a hard time performing.

Being a sexually submissive male can be confusing at times. It is okay to have kinky, perverted desires. We should enjoy our kinks.

I’ve been going through some changes lately. Experimenting with my feminine side. This has been such a positive experience for me and I am in utter shock how supportive my wife has been. Just last night we dressed each-other up in matching nylons and she later put me in a skirt. She asked what my biggest challenge has been dressing like her and I said finding a sexy top to wear. She immediately suggested a halter top and pulled one out for me to try. It was perfect. She also told me never wear black nylons with a grey skirt :).

She then asked if I had ever tried on one of her skirts before and I told her I had tried every one of them on. I had always tried on her clothing now and then even early on in our relationship when we were still dating. Mostly nylons, panties, skirts and pants, never anything I felt I would stretch out or potentially ruin. I never did it to look like a women, I just wanted to feel what it was like to be a woman for a short time.

Lately it has all just felt so natural with her, no humiliation, I don’t feel inadequate anymore. When we made love last night her orgasms were more powerful than I have been able to give her in years.

She loves my BIG Girl clit, we have always agreed my penis is small. She wants to get heels and more clothing for me, when we made love she even giggled telling me I need boobs too! She really is the best wife a man could ever have.

I am still confused about my sexuality but more than ever I am confused about the cuckolding part of our relationship. I still want her to be with other men, but I have learned we need to be careful with the humiliation play part. Cuckolding, has aways been a major turn on for me and also has caused me such angst, confusion, anger, sometimes sadness questioning myself and the aspects of sex I enjoy.

What I have learned is I had a mindset that I should feel humiliated for being a cuckold, that I deserved to be. I shouldn’t! I should never be self-humiliated by my own sexual desires or sexual experiences. This is where the problem has been. My wife has know this and a beautiful woman at Desire Resort knew this when she asked why I should have to feel humiliated, that I am beautiful and have a lot to offer. Interesting enough her own husband is bi-sexual.

Why would my wife having relations with a man be something that humiliates me? It is something she needs that I can’t provide and when it’s done, she is always back in my arms to talk to me about it. I am happy for her, and want her to have it whenever she chooses. It is also something I need.

I should not be humiliated or feel inadequate when I see a perfect cock fucking her pussy, I helped give her this, it is an incredible sight. I also want it to fuck her to great pleasures and I want to lick it’s perfect balls, and suck his cock too! Lol. It is not humiliating, I’m choosing to do it and have the desire to do it. I want to lick the cum out of her, I want to share cum kisses with her and I want to feel good about how much I enjoy it. I think suppressing the feminine part of me, the submissive side of me to be more masculine played a role in developing the humiliation aspects. I want to enjoy all the aspects of cuckolding. I have cuckold cravings.

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