The Beginning Of My Sexual Submissiveness

It was advertised as an athletic professional massage on a table in a private studio. Just what my sore body was looking for. When I arrived to the coastal community, in an upscale neighborhood I was at ease. John introduced himself at the door, he was fit and very professional. After a brief conversation he led me to his upstairs massage studio. It looked just like any other professional massage studio with clean towels and linens. He told me he would let me get ready and left the room. I removed my clothing and laid facedown on the massage table covering my bottom with the towel provided.

The first massage was a very professional sports massage, it felt great, I never felt uncomfortable. There were only slight differences from other massages I had received. Like other massages he rubbed the outer part of my gluteus, but he did something different pushing the towel up slightly and out of the way. I have always felt comfortable with myself so I was not bothered. By the time he was finished the towel for the most part had been removed, and when I turned over, the towel was positioned back to covering my frontside. The front massage like the back was all professional with the exception of more attention to the inner legs and growing. At no time did he touch my privates, although grazed close, bringing me pleasure.  The massage ended on time, he left the room allowing me to get dressed. I thanked him for the massage and at that time he invited me back for another the following week which I agreed to.

The second visit started the same as the first. Back on his table with him massaging oils into my back. He felt amazing as he rubbed down my body my glutes and legs. As the last time he got very comfortable with my ass, spending extra time rubbing there, pushing the boundaries of my comfort as he spread my cheeks, pouring warm oil directly on me. I did not object and enjoyed his sensual touch, so much so when he asked if he could remove the towel completely I said yes. With my body exposed and relaxed, he kneaded my cheeks with his hand, my eyes were closed, I was very turned on wanting more and pushed my ass slightly up. This was the signal he needed to continue to push my boundaries, he had my complete permission through my body language. I felt a slight tickle and warmth on my hole, it took me what felt like a few minutes to figure out what he was doing, he was kissing and licking my asshole and all I could do was push up in pleasure.

After what felt like an eternity of him working on my ass, he asked me to roll over which I did, my cock was hard and exposed as he continued his massage now rubbing my front legs, growing, and around my cock. It was pleasurable, and I did not want him to stop. With my eyes still closed, convincing myself this was okay as long as I did not look, I felt a new warmth I had never felt rubbing up and down my body. First on my legs, then rubbing against my cock, followed by it moving up the side of my body, it was not until it was placed on the palm of my open right hand that I realized he had removed his pants and it was his bare cock. I was breathing deep as I squeezed it, not knowing what to do, I gently rubbed my hands on it as he rubbed his hands on mine, I think I was pretty much going on his lead of what he was doing to me, including slightly cupping and tickling his balls.

He then moved further up my body rubbing his cock up my arm and around on my shoulder, neck, head and then he started to rub it all over my face, or maybe I rubbed my face all of it. It felt amazing, not at any point did I think to myself this is wrong or unenjoyable even know I had no attraction to him or other guys. I wanted so bad to suck it, and he must have known this as he repositioned and turned my face. I opened my mouth and took him inside.  I could taste his saltiness, but what I could not get over was the warmth of his cock and the softness, it was heavenly, pure pleasure. I sucked for as long as I comfortably could in that position, then I had to reposition, it was then I finally opened my eyes, looked up at his smile, him knowing, I had never touched another man other than him was clear in his face, he had a sense of pride to his look, as I submissively started to suck him like a true cock sucker. He had me hooked on his cock as I brought him to the brink of orgasm but he stopped me, knowing that would have been too much overstimulation for my first male male experience, he pulled out of my mouth, he then proceeded down to return the favor, bringing me to a quick powerful orgasm as he pulled his mouth off allowing me to spray my own stomach and chest, He then stood up, stoked his cock and also sprayed all over my chest and stomach.

After we both showered, I did not speak much as the pleasurable bliss  had subsided and it sank in that I just was with another male sexually. It was probably smart of him not to have taken me too far on that first day. I was not mad or ashamed, I was sexually confused, conflicted, how did I enjoy it so much, without attraction to the male itself? As I left, he asked if I would like to come back, I thought for a second, looked at him and said yes. I was not done with my sexual experimentation. When I would return it was also clear the reason was not for a sports massage.

For months I would sneak away from my roommates and friends and drive off to an older athletic males house. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going I wasn’t ashamed but was conflicted.

After that first time with him, I knew I was handing myself over to him to do what he wanted to me if I chose to visit his home again. I chose to many times.  He was a dominant fit gay male probably around my age today. I didn’t know anything about dominants and submission then. I did know when I was in his presence he had some sort of consensual control over me. I didn’t feel at the time I was gay or bi-sexual I had no physical, visual or mental attraction to this man but I was attracted by something else. I never really understood this part of my life for the last 20 years.

He would always blindfold me, knowing that made me comfortable, not having to look that it was a man doing these sexual acts to me. He had a fetish or interest in rope play, massage and BDSM toys. Tying the willing person up then using them for his pleasure. He would verbally tease me and call me a boy. In statue I was bigger than him but he was much larger than me below and like I stated he was in control. He was also older than me.  

This was the part that I did like. I liked giving up all my physical, mental and emotional control and I liked him tying me up and using my body sexually as a man. I liked the way he talked to me.  He would always un-blindfold  me at the end. I think he loved to see the mix of agony and pleasure in my eyes.  

For a straight man I think this scenario is hard to understand. Why if I am straight did I go to him for sexual gratification? I do believe this is something many woman understand and do enjoy as the men traditionally are the dominant ones in our society even in the bedroom. 

It is my wife I am visually, physically, mentally and sexually attracted to and it has only ever been women I have felt this way towards. When I met my wife I had already left this part of my life in the past . Happy to have found the love of my life and the person I would marry and have kids with. 

Now not the same but having a wife cuckolding and inviting dominant men into your marriage for both yours and your wife’s pleasure is very similar. You have to give up control, there is much more emotions because with your wife you can’t give that up, you love her,  physically you are surrendering in sorts and giving yourself to her. Also with the right man you are surrendering some sort of consensual control over to him. Strange and hard to understand but also at the same time sexually exciting.

It was many years later I shared this story with my wife one drunken night when we were discussing sex and she asked if I had ever been with another male. I had no secrets from her except this on, the last skeleton in the closet gone. It turned out to my pleasant surprise she thought the story was hot. Little did I know she would then fantasize about seeing me suck another mans cock and having him dominate me.

So after some time I agreed to to suck another guys cock for her while she watched. So I did it, I sucked her boyfriends cock while she watched and again it was pure pleasure. With my wife’s support I was not conflicted. Not being conflicted woke something inside of me. I knew I was sexually submissive, that has always been the turn on of cuckolding to me. I didn’t know I too like my wife I desired the feeling of being slutty. When we introduced cuckolding I helped set my wife sexually free. When she had me suck cock ones again she set me sexually free. It has allowed me to fully accept our desires. I still want to be with my wife in every way but I also want to be sexually dominated and also sexually please both her and men.

It kind of brought out a bit of the sissy cuckold in me, it is hard to explain, but I do like it. It has caused me to want to explore feminization a little more, to be more submissive like I allowed myself to be in this past experience. I love her, and exploring and pushing our sexual boundaries. I love that she is part of my sexual journey and I am part of hers.

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